Never Tangle With A Hormonal Pregnant Tyler Woman
by scifigeekgirl
Summary: Next in the Time, Eternals and the Domestic life series.  Follows TEA and Marriage & Zombies.  Just because Rose is pregnant doesn't mean she can't rescue the Doctor from some alien imps.


a/n: Another one shot in my Time, Eternals and the Domestic Life series. This follows TEA and Marriage & Zombies. A couple of curse words but otherwise, very fluffy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any imps either!

Rose spun around on the old desk chair down in archives as Mandy walked back from some long forgotten nook, her arms loaded with heavy looking old leather bound books with thick yellowed pages. She dropped her load on her old wooden desk. Rose swore she watched a puff of dust float up into the air. Mandy was dressed in her own unique fashion sense which included brown tweed pants, knee high caramel brown boots and a kelly green cable knit sweater topped with a brown and orange scarf. Her long curly brown hair was held away from her face by some purple sparkly combs.

"Here!" she announced, pointing at a page in one of the old books which now lay open on her desk. Rose, dressed in jeans, trainers and a long purple jumper, hopped off the chair and stood next to her looking at a drawing on the page.

Rose wrinkled her brow and cocked her head to the side as she stared at the sketch. "Umm, okay but what are we lookin' at?"

"It's a Auswog," Mandy said, as if that would explain everything.

"In English please," Rose asked, still staring at the hand drawn picture.

"Well, it's sort of an imp."

Rose looked at the drawing of a little pink bipedal creature no bigger than a tea cup with large adorable eyes. She turned to look over at Mandy. "Seriously? This little fuzzy pink thing with the two big googly eyes is what's got the Doctor, Jake and Jack?"

"Well, it's actually an entire colony and they may look cute, but the reality is they're vicious little things. They have razor sharp teeth and can rip apart a car engine in two minutes flat. There are many accounts of them in the history books. The gist of it is, if you invade their territory or what they perceive as their territory, they will defend it violently if they feel threatened, specially when they're nesting."

Rose groaned. "So, he, Jake and Jack bollixed into that old nursery in Habersham Park and walked straight into their nest?" Rose asked, getting perturbed at the Doctor and his team.

"Well, yeah looks like. Karin was lucky to escape. She says the Doctor was all excited to find the eggs and …."

"Oh, so he just busted in and started mucking about with some poor defenseless eggs did he!" Rose said, interrupting Mandy and starting to pace.

"Rose, I'm sure it wasn't quite like that. You know the Doctor, he was curious is all," Lindsay said, trying to make Rose see reason as she could tell that Rose was not being entirely rational. Everyone at Torchwood had heard about Rose's pregnancy and her hormonal outbursts were legendary now. The one thing everyone agreed was that you did not want to get on the bad side of an angry, hormonal Tyler woman. People who had once been annoyed by the Doctor's rambling and habit of sweeping in and monopolizing a project, were now sympathizing with him.

Rose pulled out her mobile and hit speed dial. "Chels! Meet me in the garage and gear up. We're goin' to get the Doctor and the boys!" Rose said and took off toward the lift.

"But Rose, you can't!" Mandy shouted. "You're pregnant and not suppose to be…." Mandy stopped at the stormy look in Rose's eyes.

"Not to be what? Rescuin' my baby's father from some pissed off imps? We'll just see 'bout that!" she said and punched the lift button like it was the enemy.

In the car, Chelsea glanced at Rose as she sped to the park where the Auswog were holding the Doctor, Jack and Jake hostage. "So, the boys got captured by a bunch of pink fuzzy imps the size of a tea cup?" Chelsea asked with a smirk.

Rose sighed heavily and looked down at her baby bump which was barely showing even though she was six months pregnant. "Yep. You know them. Bet they got cocky being all manly men in all that," Rose said, waving her hand in the air. "Then there's always the Doctor seein' something shiny and has to go investgatin' without thinking' 'bout how some imps would feel about him snoopin' around their nest."

Chelsea snorted. "Figures. Ya know Pete's gonna have a fit when he hears about you goin' out to rescue them. You're not s'pose to be anywhere near any field operations."

"Don't worry Chels, I'll tell 'im I got all hormonal with you and so you had to take me."

"That excuse still work?" Chelsea asked with a slight smile.

Rose grinned brightly. "Yep! You'd be surprised. You say the word hormones and blokes just agree to anything as long as they can leave. Works great!"

Chelsea smiled at her. "The Tyler secret weapon."

The arrived at the Park and Rose slipped on a protective coat. She might be determined to save the Doctor and a bit hormonal, but she wasn't stupid. She zipped it up and she and Chelsea discussed their approach.

"No guns Chels."

"Rose, be sensible. We're about to confront a bunch of hostiles that have the Doctor, Jack and Jake trussed up like a holiday roast."

"No. I'm gonna talk to 'em first. I saw in Mandy's book that if you don't show aggression to them, they won't attack. Now put the guns away and come on!"

Chelsea muttered under her breath about hormones, imps and annoying curious Time Lords and followed after her. They made their way toward an abandoned greenhouse that had some of the panes smashed and an abundant of plants growing around and out of it. Rose stopped at the door and wiped some of the dirt off to look inside. It all looked peaceful enough so she opened the door which squeaked ominously.

"Bloody great. Why don't you just tell 'em they got two more hostages about to march in," Chelsea muttered.

"Quiet," Rose whispered. "No loud noises. You might scare 'em."

"Scare 'em? A mass of furry pink things with lots of sharp teeth that disarmed Jake and Jack not to mention tied them up and you're worried about scaring them?" Chelsea said rolling her eyes.

"Hello? Anyone there? My name's Rose and I don't mean you any harm," Rose said, sticking her head in the greenhouse but seeing nothing but plants shifting in the breeze. She took a few steps in careful where she was walking. After walking in a bit, Rose saw something pink scurry under some plants.

"There! I saw one to our left," she said excitedly to Chelsea.

Chelsea was itching to have a weapon in her hand. "You sure about this pacifist stuff," she said, jumping at some rustling leaves.

"Yep," Rose answered, popping her "p's"

Finally, they reached a shady and overgrown area at one end of the greenhouse. Rose stopped and smiled. "Hello there. I just want to talk. I know some of our people came here and scared you. Maybe we could talk about it, yeah?"

"Oh Shit!" Chelsea swore and tugged on Rose's arm as she saw masses of little pink creatures hiding amongst the greenery surrounding them.

Rose looked around and grinned. "Oh, hello there!" she said brightly.

Chelsea scowled at her. Soon, there were masses of the imps behind them pushing them forward into a lush green garden area and down some steps into a cave-like structure. After a bit of a walk down a damp, moss covered path, they found themselves in an underground garden with pools of water filled with lily pads, rocks, water falls and a ceiling made of masses of large leaved plants sporting white fragrant blooms. Sunlight filtered in from somewhere above them. Further in, they saw the Doctor, Jack and Jake tied up among the greenery with vines wrapped around them.

They were struggling and cursing as the imps threw pebbles at them. One pebble struck Jake right between the eyes.

"Oh good shot!" shouted the Doctor, right before an imp threw some berries which splatted in his hair. "Oh come on! I didn't mean any harm. No reason to get stroppy about this," he complained, as fruit juice ran out of his hair and down his cheek. Jack smiled as an imp sat on his shoulder weaving flowers into his hair. He winked at it.

Chelsea burst out laughing, pulled out her phone and snapped photos. Rose started to laugh but then remembered why they were strung up.

"Rose!" the Doctor called out, at first happy to see her and then he remembered she was not allowed on field operations. "You shouldn't be here. Does Pete know about this." Rose glared at him and crossed her arms.

Eventually, she and Chelsea were herded further along until they reached a patch of grass with several large rocks arranged on it. The sun was filtering through some plants and casting shadows around them as some water dripped down into a small pond nearby. A procession of imps approached. One imp was bigger than the others and wore a wreath of flowers about it's head and stood up on the largest stone. It looked up at Rose and began squeaking at her animatedly. Rose psychically tapped into the Tardis to translate.

"What's it saying?" Chelsea asked, observing the little pink fuzzy creature whose eyes were even bigger and than the others.

"Oh no they didn't!" Rose practically shouted in outrage. The imp squeaked some more, shaking it's little arms in the air and jumped up and down.

"Well of course you are. I so understand," Rose said nodding her head. "I'm so sorry! He can be so rude and the other two just followin' along not treatin' you with respect. If those were my eggs, I'd have done the same. Honestly, blokes just don't understand what it's like. I'm nesting a bit myself and I can tell you from experience, on this planet, they just don't' get it," Rose said, shaking her head sadly.

The little imp squeaked some more and soon a hoard of imps began dancing about them singing.

"What are they sayin!" Chelsea demanded.

Rose smiled at her. "Wanna hear?" she asked. Chelsea nodded and Rose took her hand and concentrated so Chelsea could be included in the telepathic translation field.

All of sudden, Chelsea heard words and the song the imps were signing praising the yellow human matriarch. They were shouting "All hail the golden mother, defender of the Auswog, Punisher of the Sonic Menace."

Chelsea snorted with laughter and looked at Rose who had a huge grin on her face. "See, told ya it would be all right," Rose said proudly.

"Yeah, but they're still holdin' the boys hostage," Chelsea pointed out.

Rose's smile faded. "Yeah, but not for long. Come on. The Premier Auswog here is willin' to talk about it bein' we have an understandin' and all. Let's go chat to 'Mr. Rude Time Lord' who thinks he knows how to talk to aliens," Rose said and they turned to walk back toward the boys.

As they walked, Chelsea had to stifle some chuckles as she listened to hormonal nesting Rose in action. She listened as Rose muttered "Rude," "I'll sonic 'im," and "defenseless alien babies," as they slowly made their through the underground garden.

When Rose and Chelsea arrived with the assembly of the imp leadership. The Doctor looked over nervously at them. "Everything all right? I mean, they haven't hurt you have they?"

Rose rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. The Premier Auswog came forward and began squeaking and gesturing at the tied up men. Rose nodded.

Chelsea looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Spill!" she said, her voice laced with anticipation.

"Well basically, the boys over there stomped in here and started mucking about and if that wasn't bad enough, they started manhandling the imp's eggs. I've apologized and asked for them to be released. Give me your hand and you can listen in." Rose explained to Chelsea. Chelsea immediately took her hand.

Soon the creatures squeaks turned to words. "You're language is difficult. All harsh and ugly. You are gestating young. You understand the need to protect."

"Oh yes I do. If you let them go, I promise they will be punished severely," Rose said and then looked up at the boys.

"What!" the Doctor said struggling.

"Specially the one in middle who knows better," Rose promised, arching an eyebrow at the Doctor.

The Premier Auswog nodded and Rose promised that if the imps agreed not to leave this area, she would set up a reserve here for them so they would not be bothered. Once the treaty was established through much squeaking, gesturing and exchange of gifts, which lucky for Rose was easy when she found some candies in her pocket, the boys were cut free. The imps were still bristling at the men and watching them carefully. A few had pebbles ready to pummel them with. Jack, of course, cooed at his little friends. Jake just wanted to get out of there and the Doctor pouted all the way to the car, even after the Premier Auswog handed his sonic to Rose.

After they were all loaded into the car, Rose turned around to face the boys in the back seat. "All right you lot, you so owe Chels and me," Rose said grinning.

"Yeah, I'll be deciding proper payment for not posting the pictures all over Torchwood," Chelsea said with evil delight.

"Oi, that's not fair!" the Doctor complained. "It was an accident and there were lots and lots of them. They overwhelmed us for no reason!"

"No reason!" Rose shouted. "You waltzed in there and threatened their eggs! You're lucky they didn't start snippin' stuff off!"

Chelsea chuckled. "Can you say that again, cause I think that needs to be in the recorded report!"

"No!" all three men cried.

"All right then. Let's just call this a day and get back to Torchwood." Rose said, strapping herself into the car.

"That's the best idea I've heard all day!" Jake said, glaring at the Doctor. "I swear the next time you say it's an easy little jaunt, you can find someone else to go with you," Jake groused.

"Well it would have been if you hadn't shown your weapon. We'd have been fine," the Doctor retorted.

Jack laughed. "Oh yeah, and you running over and stickin' the sonic in the nest had nothing' to do with it."

"Oi, they tied you up too 'Mr. I'll just flirt my way out.' We all saw how that worked out didn't we!" the Doctor commented and sniffed.

"Hey! At least I didn't get pelted with pebbles and fruit. I got some really nice flowers," Jack said, gently touching the flowers in his hair.

Jake stared at him in horror.

"That's enough!" Rose shouted, glaring into a mirror to watch the three chastised men squirm. "The Doctor and I have an appointment with Fraunk and Mum to talk about baby stuff in three hours. We don't have time for complainin' about who pissed off the most imps."

"But Roooose, do we hafta! I mean couldn't we…"

"No, we're goin," Rose interrupted him, glaring at him in the mirror. He caught one look at the Tyler look of doom directed at him and slunk down in his seat.

"Fine, but there's not gonna be any pink fuzzy anything in our house no matter what Jackie wants and I want a rubber ducky theme," he said and crossed his arms, pouting.

"What no solar systems, stars and what not?" Rose asked surprised.

The Doctors eyes lit up. "Ducks in Space!" he shouted out. Everyone in the car groaned. "Oh this is going to be a long pregnancy," Rose muttered as the car sped toward Torchwood.


End file.
